Fat Boy's Diner: Fries and Kitsch-up

Trinity Buoy Wharf, 64 Orchard Place, E14 0JW

tel: +44 (0)207 987 4334

God bless America. Land of the free, home of the brave and birthplace of the diner. Greasy burgers, thick milkshakes and fried onion rings - what's not to love? It's no wonder the concept has travelled. In this case - all the way to the banks of the Thames in London's Docklands. Fatboy's Diner is a bit of a slog to get to (our route took us on the DLR to East India Quay then via an urban bird sanctuary) but worth it for the sheer kitsch. The mobile trailer was built in New Jersey in 1941 and has been featured in the film Sliding Doors and various shoots for Vogue. Inside a faded certificate hangs crookedly on the wall. It reads: "Voted London's Best Restaurant."

Forgive me, but I find it very hard to believe that Fat Boy's Diner was EVER voted the Best Restaurant in London. Most Unique, yes. Best Decor, sure. Quirkiest Restaurant, maybe. But food-wise, it just doesn't cut the mustard. The best thing about Fat Boy's is the milkshakes. There's chocolate, strawberry, vanilla and banana - all for £2.45. They are thick, creamy and huge - served in a giant metal cup.

Fat Boy's scores points too for creativity in naming menu items.  Mustard = yellow paint. Lettuce = rabbit food. Fried onions = brown bad breath. I went for a Plus Two which encompassed a "giant Fatburger topped with crispy Canadian bacon and choice of Swiss or American cheese" for £3.95 and a side order of chips. The chips were sprinkled with seasoning salt, which I liked. The burger on the other hand...not so good. The patty tasted like it came straight from a box. It was overcooked and rubbery. Even the nice slice of Canadian bacon couldn't save it from being downright gross.

The good thing about Fat Boy's is that everything is dirt cheap. Two of us ate burgers, chips, onion rings (tasty) and drank shakes for under 20 quid. I wouldn't rush back for the food, but the atmosphere is pretty darn cool. After lunch, we went for a little wander in Trinity Buoy Wharf and discovered London's only lighthouse, a community of artists living in brightly painted shipping containers, a sculpture of a man holding a severed head and this sofa...sitting in the middle of a carpark with a nice view of the Millennium Dome. Random. But then again, so is a 1940s American diner, plopped in east London.

The Draft House: Cool Americana

94 Northcote Road

Clapham, SW11 6QW

tel: +44 (0)20 7924 1814

I didn't mean to go to The Draft House for lunch. In fact, I had no idea it even existed. I was happily strolling down Northcote Road in Clapham, on my way to meet two girlfriends at an Italian restaurant called I Sapori di Stefano Cavallini I had been wanting to try for ages. But when I arrived at 146 - I stopped dead in my tracks. The restaurant was boarded up. Completely shut. I quickly texted my girlfriends: ABORT MISSION. I remembered passing by The Draft House about three blocks previously and told them to meet me there instead. I arrived first and was pleasantly surprised to find a buzzy, warm atmosphere with miles of fantastic beers on tap. Brooklyn Brown Ale, Porterhouse Red, Crazy Ed's Chili Beer (eh???) and Black Forest Beer, just to name a few. I figured that even if the menu was dodgy-looking, we could at least stay for a pint or two and then move on. But the menu didn't stink. Quite the opposite. We were greeted to starters such as ox tongue fritters with horseradish and beetroot (£5.50). Mains included roasted Tuscan sausages with lentils and fennel (£10.75) and a house burger stuffed with roquefort (£9.50). Onion rings came as a side dish - and people, listen up! They were fan-bloody-tastic. 

With lots of Americana on the walls, The Draft House is somewhat of a cross between a British pub and an American diner. And while it's definitely for beer-lovers with 17 choices on tap and 50 in bottles, winos won't be disappointed either. The food is a cut-above pub grub and the atmosphere is stylish and chilled. All in all, a real find - even if by accident.